He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Randomize