Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
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we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
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Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize