You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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