I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
