nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
