Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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