he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
