honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
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If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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