grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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