that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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