its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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