giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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