4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
