hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She's the barista slut.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
