Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
