Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
