My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
