matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
