There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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