you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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