i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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