I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
