I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize