Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
