dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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