:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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