I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
