So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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