By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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