then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
