Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
