What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
