Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
