oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize