oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
