they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
