I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
