so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
