i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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