she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
