if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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