She said her name was "party"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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