it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
