I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
The air taste purple.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
