Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
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I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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