yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
