I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
