Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
