i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
