fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
