I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
