dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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