hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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