I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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