Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
