is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize