So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
