Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize