So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
