they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
