I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize