Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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