I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
