nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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