He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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