im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
