dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
